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My wife rolling up her first character

yourplayersaidwhat:

My ever so hilarious wife when rolling up her very first character (Drow Rogue) for a campaign I’m currently running.

My wife: So elves can live to be 600 years old?

Me: Yeah, they can live to be approximately 600. Like how humans can live to be around 100 years old.

My wife: Okay, I’m going to make my elf 599 years old and needs a wheelchair to get around. So I can ask if everywhere we go is wheelchair accessible.

Me: Please don’t.

yourplayersaidwhat:

Crusader: I don’t negotiate with terrorists.

Dragon Shaman (who is, in fact, a snake): I’m not a terrorist, I’m just a snake who lived on a rock for an unspecified amount of time.

Crusader: Sounds like a terrorist to me.

froge:

lovetten:

froge:

the 8th deadly sin, gaming

gaming is a combination of greed (gamer money), gluttony (potion and munch), envy (friend gets epic loot and you don’t), wrath (nerd rage), sloth (all day gaming), lust (titty game), and pride (epic accomplishment)

gaming is not the 8th sin, it’s all of them

holy shit… signal boost

peopleareaproblem:

Human off-screen: “What is it, Boog? What is that?”

Boog: (kisses the baby deer)

Human off-screen: “A kiss! Look at that kiss!”

Boog: (makes tiny bear noises)

Human off-screen: “Go give it another kiss. Go give it another kiss, Boog. Yes!”

Boog and the baby deer: (kiss)

Human off-screen: “Yes, that’s a bear kiss!”

@captioned-vines

psychoticrambling:

angelicpaintbrush:

coelasquid:

thiocyanat:

coelasquid:

satanpositive:

How to tape up your hands before a fight

Useful reference?

Let’s go beat someone up! But no seriously, does this prevent pain or something ? What do these bandages actually serve ? 

It keeps your bones aligned to prevent injury, compresses soft tissue to make the fist more rigid, and pads the knuckles. Skull bones are sturdier than hand bones, and even if you know what you’re doing there’s a high risk of damaging your metacarpals if you punch someone barehanded. It’s why they recommend if you find yourself in a fight unprepared to bunt their nose with the butt of your palm, because if the other person tucks their head and you end up hitting their forehead instead it’ll do a lot less damage to your palm than your knuckles.

Tumblr teach’n you how to fucks someone’s shit up.

now go punch some nazis!