thomaso'leary.com

Smooth Talker

yourplayersaidwhat:

Last week, I was DMing a one-off campaign for a few friends. Two have played before and the third has never played a live role-playing game before, so he was a bit uncomfortable. He decided to be a bard (named Shilo Buff).

I started them off in a stereotypical tavern for everyone to get their bearings and put the ball in the bard’s court, letting him do whatever he wanted.

Bard OOC: I walk up to the bar and lean on it next to a lady standing there and I say…

Bard: Hey, baby, you ever heard a song before?

The Lady (Me): Ummm…yes?

Bard: You wanna hear another?

Bard OOC: And I play this on my bagpipes…

He pulls out his phone and a bagpipes cover of Careless Whisper starts to play.

Me, the DM, through my laughter (everyone else is cracking up as well): Roll a performance check.

…he rolls a 20.

The entire bar is enraptured by his performance and they fill a cup in front of him with gold. The lady hangs on him the rest of the evening.

And that’s still only the second best pick-up line I’ve experienced in a Dungeons & Dragons tavern.

wageronliberty:

the-at-symbol:

arciifer:

babyanimalgifs:

this is the angriest bird i’ve ever seen

To the people in the comments saying the guy is doing this “just for show”

He’s not

With this kind of bird, they are VERY attached to their cages, so if you need to replace the cage, you need to the show the bird you’ve destroyed it so it will accept the new one. It’s upset bc the cage it liked is gone, but the cage was too small for it so it needs to be replaced. The bird is fine.

I love how he is just yelling “FUCK”

Someone convince me this bird doesn’t have property rights 

I’m having a moral crisis over here

View this post on Instagram

just-shower-thoughts:

I wonder how many psychopaths or future criminals have I had small talk with in my lifetime

yourplayersaidwhat:

Warlock: I spread the marbles out on the floor in front of the thieves and then use eldritch blast.

DM: Sure! You also gain a point of inspiration because Home Alone.

today's agenda

waluiqi:

screaming into the abyss (2 snack breaks)