During my very first ever dnd experience, my gm who’s since become a close friend was running me through a one on one campaign when he found out exactly why he needed to get me into a group
Gm: so you have a couple different options on how to infiltrate this man’s castle.
Me: I’m gonna marry him
Gm: this is a stealth recon mission, you’re here to steal stuff
Me: yes and how can he say no after he’s slept with me
Needless to say I turned a two hour campaign into six hours of doing nothing he’d planned because who’s going to say no to their wife?
Posted 476 weeks ago
(Meme me up) Meme me up inside (I can't meme up) Meve me up inside (Save me) Call my name and save me from the meme (Meme me up) Bid my meme to run (I can't meme up) Before I come undone (Save me) Save me from the meme I've become
As the group of seven, irl 5 kids (8-14) and their (40s) parents goes further into the jungle, they are ambushed by a tribe of Cliffwalk Shifters. Everyone but the Monk fails their diplomacy check, so while the tribe lets them stay in their camp that night, they weren’t too friendly towards the party.
Now I like to get the players invested in the world as much as I can, so that night, the Shifters engaged in a tribal dance around a fire with a cool thing happening at the end. I’d rolled for the 4 Shifters dancing and the best got a 19 on his performance check. With no bard in the party, I expected the characters to just watch and learn some culture.
I did not expect the Dragonborn Paladin to try to redeem himself on the dance floor.
Paladin OOC: I’m gonna try to dance as best I can to make these people like me.
Me, surprised: Uh, sure. Roll performance.
*Nat 20*
The table roars and I feel the blood drain from my face.
Me: Ok, so all of you watch as your Dragonborn friend, known for his enforcement of justice and valor, absolutely kill it on the dance floor.
Rogue: Woo, you go Tornader!
Me: The Shifters are awestruck by the performance. After a moment of talking, a young and beautiful Shifter run out of a tent and straight up to Tornader. Before any of you can react, she kisses him passionately.
Paladin OOC: What’s happening?
Me, as the Shifter chief: Well done, scaled one. For your incredible performance in our ceremonial dance, you have won the hand of my daughter, Nutmeg, and are now a part of our tribe. Though we do not know the final place of the Journey Yet to Come, I am pleased to say you shall walk it together as Husband and Wife. Congratulations, my son.
Let me tell you, the look of horror that plays out on a 10 year old’s face when he finds out he has a wife to come home to is priceless. They are still married to this day, as he doesn’t think it would look good if a Paladin went through a divorce.
