He’s a famous bard by the name of Rick Astley… its a love ballad.
Our Bard explaining what song he’ll play for “Song of Rest” and who he learned it from. (via yourplayersaidwhat)
Memetacualar
I like things. They're nice. Except those things that arent nice. they can go fuck themselves Kat Bray Jo
Posted 474 weeks ago
Posted 474 weeks ago
So at my house we have an intercom in everyone’s room and when you press “talk” and speak into it everyone can hear what you say
So last night at like 1 AM I spoke into it and quietly whispered “Shia Labeouf“
I heard my mom scream in the other room
Posted 474 weeks ago
Posted 474 weeks ago
Posted 474 weeks ago
yall like “I wanna die” like a broken record but a buncha clowns come over wanting to kill you and youre all shitting your pants. hypocrites you are
the day i let fuckin bozo stab me to death is the day i die, pal
well yeah thats how being stabbed to death works
dont make fun of me dude what if a girl sees this
Posted 474 weeks ago
Context: the party is traversing a mountain pass in a blizzard a la Lord of the Rings scene. DM has everyone roll the dice to see if they don’t fall down the cliff, and dwarf warrior in heavy plate armor fails the check.
DM: Heavy gust of wind pushed you off the path. You slip and fall off the cliff. What do you do?
Dwarf: I flap my arms really really hard.
DM: Seriously?
Dwarf: it’s not like I got better options.
DM: ok, roll the dice.
Dwarf rolls natural 20.
DM: …
Party: …
DM: roll again.
Dwarf rolls another 20.
DM: …!
Party: …?!
DM: …sigh. With astonished look on their faces, the party behold a most miraculous sight. A dwarf in heavy armor is slowly rising up in the air above the cliff edge by flapping his arms really really fucking hard.
Posted 475 weeks ago
hey guys, god is dead
you fool… that IS god
Posted 475 weeks ago
Trying to write a dnd campaign
- Player 1: I want to play a cleric w a really sad and dramatic backstory
- Player 2: I wanna play an orc who has his dick out 100% of the time
Posted 475 weeks ago
Player: So, the mayor set a band of orcs on three towns so the rich could have more fun?
DM: Yeah, that’s what he did.
Player: I wanna bitch slap him.
DM: Okay, but if you get a critical miss I’m gonna give him second wind and he will kill you.
Player: 17 plus 5, 22!
DM: Yeah, shit. You slapped him, you slapped him so hard his neck breaks.
Player: Good.
Posted 475 weeks ago
