I like things. They're nice. Except those things that arent nice. they can go fuck themselves
KatBrayJo
Posted 473 weeks ago
u say ur 6'6.. but are u?? are u really???
well ok???? here’s me next to the entrance to my apartment??? why the heck would i lie about my height??? I DON’T ENJOY BUMPING MY HEAD INTO EVERYTHING JUST BECAUSE THE WORLD IS BUILT FOR HOBBITS
So context this is me and my friend Toms forst time playing DnD. The first battle we have is against an orc with a pack of wolves by his side. The party focuses on the wolves where as our ranger shoots the orc with his long bow dealing decent damage. Tom pipes up “im going to impale him with my javelin” DM allows it and tom rolls a Nat 20 and impales him from his gut straight through into his skull. He then goes on to do the exact same thing later on to a bear again rolling a nat 20 and acheiving his attack.
Party, including DM: You will forever now be known as “Tom the Impalor”
Tom: its not official yet. *Rolls nat 20 impales the final boss with his javelin.*
We were a new party to D&D, only our DM had really played before. One of our first encounters was with a guy on the road, whose caravan’s wheel was broken. We made the decision to try and help him. It was… a rather poor idea. Me, a half-elf rogue: I observe the broken wheel to see what’s wrong. DM: Okay. You notice that the axel is bent, and the bolt is broken. There’s nothing wrong with the wheel itself. Me: Could we heat the metal to weld it back together? DM: That would probably work. A friend, playing a Dragonborn: *breaths fire* DM: The metal is red hot. Me: Okay, that’s fine- Dragonborn: *breaths fire again* DM: The caravan catches on fire. Me: SHIT. Get everything of value from the caravan before it’s completely engulfed. DM: There’s nothing in it except cloth, mostly. Caravan: *burns* Man: *cries* Me: I hit him over the head to knock him out, preventing the last thirty minutes of his memory from consolidating. DM: That was a bit extreme. Me: He saw our faces. No one can know. Another friend, an elf: Let’s steal his stuff. So we went from trying to be good samaritans, to accidentally burning a man’s livelihood and then taking all his gold. Things spiralled out of control really, really quickly.
Playing a 5e campaign on Roll20 with a party consisting of a half-elf bard (Adoain), a dwarf druid (Beardfist), a dwarf cleric of Bahamut (Branwyn), and a lizardman named Naivar. Partway through our first mission, we encounter two kobolds bottlenecked into a pair of double doors. For the next five rounds or so, neither we not the kobolds manage to hit anyone or anything.
Branwyn: Is a Field of Failure a thing that can happen in this setting? DM: Roll arcana. Beardfist: *rolls successfully* DM: You perceive the power of the internet fucking you over through bad rolls. You don’t know what the internet is, but you’re sure it’s why this is happening. Beardfist: Can I roll to detect the Benny Hill theme? DM: Go for it. Beardfist: *rolls another success* DM: You faintly hear Yakety Sax playing in the background.
