a nsa agent in a suit looking through my laptop camera: she’s on her phone…….. our data shows that she’s got tumblr open on her laptop but she has tumblr open on her phone………. double check her browser?
some nerd hired straight out of college: *types rapidly* she’s definitely got tumblr open on her laptop
the nsa agent, softly: so why is she looking at it on her phone…..
My husband and myself have served in the military. When we call home from overseas, our lines are monitored and on a short delay so no sensitive information is revealed. The line will just go dead if you say something you’re not supposed to.
Now, these calls are monitored by a department in the military called Signal corps. When we’d talk on my husband’s last deployment, we had a running joke that we said hi to “Signal Guy Fred.”
So this continued for his entire 12 month deployment, and we made sure we said hi or bye to “Signal Guy Fred” every phone call. On his final phone call before returning home we made sure to thank “Signal Guy Fred” for his time and wish him farewell.
So, before I disconnect the call, I wish “Fred” the best and thank him for his service. My phone was on speaker mode (I was cooking dinner) and my finger was hovering over the end call button when I hear the softest little, “My name’s Jason.”
why’s yoda the only character in star wars to die a peaceful/natural death. he deserved to be deadass murdered like everyone else
He was 900 years old and watched most of his friends die let him die in peace good lord
no
Fuckin ungrateful children
he was 900 years old and watched the jedi repeatedly make the same mistakes and ruin everything but didn’t do shit also he was a homophobe
he and the rest of the jedi council ignored widespread slavery on tatooine, expelled ahsoka from the order and stood by while she was almost executed for something she didn’t do, and sent obi wan after his best friend after he begged them not to. yoda can choke
We had a new player once. He decided “Hey cool, barbarians sound awesome. I want to be a barbarian trapper. I shall regale you with his antics :
1. Upon entering a dense forest in search of some Kobolds who were preparing to attack a nearby town, Steve rolls perception and spies a deer. He’s bringing up the rear and veers away from the party. We find him later, playing checkers with a band of Pixies in a clearing. Apparently he had rolled a Nat 20 for animal handling and the deer led him here. The deer is nearby just watching. Everyone in the circle turns to look at the party.
Steve : Oh hey guys. These are my friends.
The rest of the party : *Bewildered stare*
Steve : We can’t really talk to each other. But I’ve named them. This little guy is Peter. That one is Vicky. And that little bugger over there is Steve Jr. I’ve always wanted a Steve Jr.
Tiefling rogue : Uh… Steve… We have a mission.
Steve : Oh! Right! *looks at the pixies* Bye guys! We’ll catch up later.
Dwarf Cleric : You sure you’re not a druid?
2. Steve was with the party in a goblin cave. He’s a bit ahead scouting as a meatshield/warning bell. After a few moments we no longer hear him moving ahead of us. We stop, the rogue stealths ahead to find Steve in a side store room sitting at a table with a few goblins. They’re playing some form of poker on a rickety table of explosive powder. Steve is smoking a pipe we’ve never seen before. The rogue brings the party up.
Steve : (in goblin) Oh don’t mind them. Those are my friends. (To the party) Hey guys! Check it out. These dudes are super cool!
The goblins smile and wave.
Tiefling Rogue : Steve… We need to have a chat.
Steve : Sure. What’s up?
Tiefling Rogue : Okay first of all, We think you have a wandering problem. And a gaming problem. Where the hell did you get that pipe? And you -DO- realize we’ve been paid to kill these goblins right?
Steve : Aww… But these dudes are super cool! See? We’re playing poker.
Rogue : Steve. We have to kill them.
Steve : Shame… *turns to the goblins while unlimbering his great axe, aptly named The Axe of Steve* Look fellas. I’m really sorry about this.
3. After arriving at a local farming community and meeting some locals, Steve wanders off to set some traps to check in the morning. The farmers have agreed to purchase anything he catches. It’s been a rough harvest season. The next morning he goes to check the traps. Alone. And finds an owl bear.
Steve : Oh man. Check you out! What a magnificent beautiful bastard you are! (ooc) I’d like to roll animal handling to see if we can be friends. *rolls a Nat 1*
There is a cairn stone in the clearing where we found him with the Pixies. Steve died that day. The owl bear proved to be too much for his gentle nature.
